[This article is my response to the above forum discussion question was taken from Tribe.net / CMNM Tribe]
For
my part, I see CMNM scenes/interactions as something far broader than
just humiliation vs power/control. As I think back over my
'development' as boy/teen/young adult/ mature male, I have a strong
reason to believe that nudity (showing skin) is a fundamental and
important form of male-male communication.
While
power/pecking order/rank/machismo are important aspects of the CMNM
lifestyle (sexual preference/fetish - I hate to limit it to being JUST a
sexual fetish) I think it is just how and where such kinds of
experiences actually occur (for what purpose do the men are doing the
CMNM 'acts/behaviors' ) that determines more whether the 'sexual
eroticism' of the CMNM involves a power exchange or not. Oddly enough,
we've been having a similar (but limited because of text lenght)
discussion on the CMNM Xtube group (that I started recently).
I
think there are three broad categories for how and where CMNM occurs.
And you can probably take that to mean its 'purpose' - it's not always
has to do with just sex (getting off). When we start to view men's
sexual and erotic behaviors as more than just SEX, then it both
complicates and liberates the discussion/analysis.
1)
planned or commercial situations
where both parties involved, the clothed man (males) and naked ones
are participating willingly and in predetermined locations (such as a
bar, Pride event, male strip club, male lap-dancing, or private group
sex parties. Some examples are nude nights at some gay bars, or
stripping contests, or amateur strip nights, or hiring a nude escort or
sex 'massage' escort (not to be confused with a real licensed masseur
or massage therapist). Some are these 'planned' CMNM events are a part
of a larger men's gathering or nude or sexual retreat - CMEN, Burning
Man, or Street Festival (Southern Decadance in New Orleans or Dore
Alley Fair in San Francisco).
2) pre-meditated, semi-random or semi-accidental, spontaneous or simply one-way CMNM (this is a very gray area - so it's not clearly definable)..
I
don' t think that BOTH the nude and clothed male have to both be
willing participants for it to count as a CMNM situation. For one of
them, it may seem completely 'natural' or accidental. In these types of
CMMN situations, only ONE of the two manipulates (or at least it
appears that one side is cognizant and the other side is ignorant (or
innocent) of 'planning' or 'willingly' participant in sexually
stimulating their counterpart.
So
the exact environment or conditions are very important but also very
unique and specific to the situation (like good timing in while
visiting your Uncle's home, etc) so that one male can either be nude or
be the clothed one who enjoys seeing the nude male in a place where
nudity may or may not be expected. Perhaps 'flashing' (showing your
body/gentitals/nudity) to another male (clothed or not) may be a subset
of this category ... or not.. I'm not quite sure.
As
has been pointed out, one essential factor is whether power/control is
involved and whether the sexual arousal is experienced by both
(Clothed or Nude) participants. I think that the degree to which the
CMNM event or act may or may not be related to whether or not it is a
voluntary act or coerced or forced on the other party (by force,
persuasion or manipulation that physical or psychological or social
pressure or even some combinations of all three. is also important.
Another important point is whether the power/submission is part of the
social construct (police office / arrestee or suspect, teacher or coach
/ student or athlete or officer -military 'grunt' (lower rank), priest
- altar boy, etc) or simply an interpersonal construct... kind of like
role-playing like the father -son (daddy - boy) relationships that
some gay men prefer.
3)
accidental or unintended CMNM experiences
(like when someone opens a toilet stall door and exposes a naked (or
masturbating/erect guy), or getting locked out (pushed out) of a hotel
room by college buddies, etc... ).
There are all kinds
of variables that come into play and the huge extremes in the level of
conscious and unconscious sexual turns-on with all of these
variations. the subtleties or the directness (blatantness) are
different for every purpose and every person.
Certainly,
one aspect of CMNM involves flashing. Flashing is a form of
exhibitionism - from mild to wild to extreme - exposing one's body,
specifically the genitals and/or buttocks (or breasts in women) to
another person or group of people (who may or may not be clothed). Mild
forms of it are 'accidental exposure' or peekaboo flashing -which are
so very common among some social groups and situations -- so much so
that it is absolutely NOT even regarded as any form of 'sexual'
behavior at all - especially in some circles or subcultures.
Peekaboo
flashing often takes the form of nudity at college boy dorm and social
events or frat parties, nudity at sporting events, rock concerts and
public events where young and often drunk people gather to 'have fun'.
But it also exists on a more personalized basis .. such as between
college dorm roommates or when regular handymen or deliverymen come to a
person's house (sometimes repeatedly) and some accidental exposure to
(male) nudity occurs. There are legions of stories -- many probably
urban legend -- about the voyeuristic adventures of pizza delivery boys,
UPS truck drivers, and newspaper delivery boys - some of which they
have documented (in blogs, Youtube,
porno, etc) but more they
themselves often are actually the targeted brunt of someone else's
desire for getting-naked-for-the-pizza-guy prank. I have a strong
feeling that many times such 'jokes' actually have latent homoerotic
desires or subcurrents underlying the 'urge' to strip or to have
someone stripped. You have alluded to that type in your posts above.
Why then would getting the guys naked or panstied or teabagged be the
NUMBER ONE hazing or college party pranks for seemingly millions of
boyish breeder-types (twinks and young college or NON-college men up to
age 30 or so). Spend some time searching YouTube or similar sites (or
more blatantly risque or explicit video-sharing sites) to get a better
idea of what I am talking about.
So
this is an important form of CMNM experience that I don't really
address in the above and that's because it's not easily categorized:
flashing. Perhaps it's only related or could be considered a fourth
sub-category or type of CMNM.
Showing
one's naked body and/or genitals (without or without an erect state)
seems to transcend almost all the above categories. It may be accidental
or at least spontaneous, it is definitely a conscious act (though I
guess a nude 'sleepwalker' doesn't plan his actions), and it may or may
not occur in socially accepted circumstances... can you call show your
cock (semi-erect) to another guy on a nude beach 'flashing'? Maybe it
has more to do with the reality of erotic or sensual communication (body
language, etc) than mere act of being naked in front of a clothed
male.
[ The author of this article sunning his buns at a public seaside park. ]
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