First Time Experiences with CMNM: How did it start?

One of the new members on the cmnm.tribe.net (private group) started a discussion recently.

           I'd like to hear about others guys' experiences with "innocent" CMNM, especially first times. Here's one of mine to get the discussion started:

        My first time real CMNM was maybe 6 or 7 years ago. First, let me say that I am str8-married but have always been at least bi-curious and then bi-discreet. So while this was not my first time messing with a guy, it was a first CMNM experience. I was on a business trip and looking around for a jo partner on line. Most every response wanted way more than I was looking for. One str8 guy got me chatting and told me about a scenario he'd like to play out, which we did.

        My friend came over to my room. He brought a six pack. it had been unusually hot and sticky and I had not showered yet after my business day. We enjoyed a quick cold beer together, and opened the second within a few minutes an hung out sitting on the only couch in the room. Half way through the 2nd beer, I said I had not showered yet and wanted to jump into the shower real quick sync I felt grimmy. He said sure. While I did not undress in front of him, he did sneak into the bathroom while was showering and took a peak or two while I was in the shower. I came out only in the rather small hotel towel. I just needed to cool down a bit more.

          At this point I sat in the chair opposite the couch and continued slowly sipping my beer. after a shower and almost 2 beers, I was feeling horny and sneaked a feel now and then. He pretended not to notice at first, but then gave me an encouraging nod.

 I let the towel drape open and let him see my growing member. I was feeling both embarrassed and comfortable at the same time. All the while, he had his shorts and t-shirt on. Then he said, nah, it's cool, so I just took the towel off and started to openly stroke, slowly. He wanted a closer look, so I sat on the coffee table in front of him, and then next to him on the couch. He played with himself through his pants, but I did not see his dick that first time although I really wanted to. i think being denied seeing him naked and hard was a turn on but also a bit embarrassing that he was just watching me masturbate. Of course, I got to a point where I tried to stop since I could not see his, but he egged me on and convinced me to shoot for him to watch. It was very cool to have to let my guard down and just be totally natural and do this private act in front of another guy.

posted by: David

• Kelly

  Re: Past Experiences and First Time

  
  

        It happened to me another way. I guess there were other so-called CMNM experiences before that, but this one was so memorable and definitely fit the category. I had gone out to a public park along the shoreline of the bay. It's a semi-deserted spot but there were people around but just not in the immediate vicinity. I stripped naked and discreetly sunbathed. I had taken a couple of beers along to enjoy and so was feeling horny. A cyclist appeared and sort of appeared interested in getting a look, but he left after a bit. That just made me hornier.
  

  Then a 20-something guy noticed me from a distance and slowly made his way over toward me. I could tell he was intrigued and wanted to confirm that I was actually nude. Eventually, it became obvious to him that I was naked and aroused. It made it deliciously erotic for me to expose myself to him in public, but he kept just getting closer.
  

  

  
  
        Without saying a word, but only gesturing, he urged me to grab my cock and starting jacking. He remained standing and fully clothed in his athlete training pants and a jacket, but he kept keeping closer until finally he was at my feet. He used his own feet to press my legs further apart and he stared down at me, jerking with gusto for his pleasure. I tried sitting up to grasp his obviously erect cock through the soft materials of his pants, but he wouldn't let me do so, practically commanding me with nothing more than grunts to lie back down and to get back to work jerking my own cock. Finally, it was just too much and I came in great spurts all over my chest and belly as I lay on the ground. He smiled and said thanks, leaving me there panting but satisfied. I quickly looked around to see if anybody else had been watching since I had been lost in lust for a few minutes.
  
  

  

         The whole experience only last 15 minutes or so.. but it was so totally hot and unexpected that it was the source for many a long reflection on what had happened and why it has seemed so sublime a sexual encounter. It was the event that caused me to focus on the clothed / unclothed aspects of homosexual attraction and probably what made me identify with CMNM. Obviously, there were a few more elements involved: I was naked in public, and the guy was more than 20 years younger than me.

  posted by: sunbuns (Kelly Lewis)
  

  

  
  
  

  

  
  
  

Are any of these guys really exhibitionists?

From: Thorn [thorngay] on his Thorngay Yahoo Group

Thorn asked the question: Which are your favourite exhibitionists (from among the these photos (see below)?

His casual poll question caused me to think a bit more deeply. In reality, it can certainly be argued whether any of these guys is actually a 'real' exhibitionist at all.
Showing cock (with bare ass and a naked body) is NOT in among itself an act of exhibitionism. Most of these guys are just being genuinely 'nude' in public for another person that satisfying a personal sexual obsession with been 'seen'.

It's exactly this very type of confusion or ambiguity of definition about the role of nakedness (particularly male nudity) that lies at core of human societies' suppression and -- even repression - of what is central to understanding sexuality and the nature of sexual relationships - whether gay, straight, or bi or any other variation on these preferences.

Sorry to wax deeply philosophical but Thorn's attempt to generate a bit of visual 'teasing' (beefcake showcasing) by using photos of young men just being naked because they are making a social statement using visible nudity (in seeming violation of social and moral restraints) underlies to what extent we ALL (including the gay and liberally enlightened straight people need to re-assess and evolve our consciousness.

Yes, the guy showing his dick on the soccer field is obviously a porn model. He is only vicariously 'exposing' himself himself because cameraman and a few studio assistant are the only people actually 'seeing' his erection. It's interesting to consider that more and more of what is called pornography contains images that actually exposes 'exhibitionistic' tendencies. It is as if.. the viewers (those who buy or find the photos erotic) are excited by the fact that the 'model' (ostensibly as 'real, guy-next-door hunk') would dare to expose himself in public in order to achieve sexual pleasure or to stimulate or provoke the 'innocent' viewer / bystander to some (as yet) wild act of sexual abandon.

Therefore, the real question should be: Which photo(s) should NOT be considered exhibitionistic act? Or why you like each photo and what kinds of emotions or sexual feelings does it generate in YOU? What what kinds of emotions or sexual feelings or convictions/values is the PERSON in the photos experiencing at the time it was taken? How does he feel now, knowing that his naked photo (and face) are distributed widely on the Internet (via blogs like this one)?

THORNGAY GROUP: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/thorngay

Forwarded message ---------- From: Thorn [thorngay] on his Thorngay Yahoo Group

Thorn asked the question: Which are your favourite exhibitionists (from among the photos above)?
In reality, it can certainly be argued whether any of these guys is actually a 'real' exhibitionist at all.
Showing cock (with bare ass and a naked body) is NOT in among itself an act of exhibitionism. Most of these guys are just being genuinely 'nude' in public for another person that satisfying a personal sexual obsession with been 'seen'.

It's exactly this very type of confusion or ambiguity of definition about the role of nakedness (particularly male nudity) that lies at core of human societies' suppression and -- even repression - of what is central to understanding sexuality and the nature of sexual relationships - whether gay, straight, or bi or any other variation on these preferences.
Sorry to wax deeply philosophical but Thorn's attempt to generate a bit of visual 'teasing' (beefcake showcasing) by using photos of young men just being naked because they are making a social statement using visible nudity (in seeming violation of social and moral restraints) underlies to what extent we ALL (including the gay and liberally enlightened straight people need to re-assess and evolve our consciousness.

Yes, the guy showing his dick on the soccer field is obviously a porn model. He is only vicariously 'exposing' himself himself because cameraman and a few studio assistant are the only people actually 'seeing' his erection. It's interesting to consider that more and more of what is called pornography contains images that actually exposes 'exhibitionistic' tendencies.

It is as if.. the viewers (those who buy or find the photos erotic) are excited by the fact that the 'model' (ostensibly as 'real, guy-next-door hunk') would dare to expose himself in public in order to achieve sexual pleasure or to stimulate or provoke the 'innocent' viewer / bystander to some (as yet) wild act of sexual abandon.

Therefore, the real question should be: Which photo(s) should NOT be considered exhibitionistic act? Or why you like each photo and what kinds of emotions or sexual feelings does it generate in YOU? What what kinds of emotions or sexual feelings or convictions/values is the PERSON in the photos experiencing at the time it was taken? How does he feel now, knowing that his naked photo (and face) are distributed widely on the Internet (via blogs like this one)?
THORNGAY GROUP: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/thorngay

 

Do the Naked Men in CMNM equate it with humiliation?

[This article is my response to the above forum discussion question was taken from Tribe.net / CMNM Tribe]

For my part, I see CMNM scenes/interactions as something far broader than just humiliation vs power/control. As I think back over my 'development' as boy/teen/young adult/ mature male, I have a strong reason to believe that nudity (showing skin) is a fundamental and important form of male-male communication. 

While power/pecking order/rank/machismo are important aspects of the CMNM lifestyle (sexual preference/fetish - I hate to limit it to being JUST a sexual fetish) I think it is just how and where such kinds of experiences actually occur (for what purpose do the men are doing the CMNM 'acts/behaviors' ) that determines more whether the 'sexual eroticism' of the CMNM involves a power exchange or not. Oddly enough, we've been having a similar (but limited because of text lenght) discussion on the CMNM Xtube group (that I started recently).

I think there are three broad categories for how and where CMNM occurs. And you can probably take that to mean its 'purpose' - it's not always has to do with just sex (getting off). When we start to view men's sexual and erotic behaviors as more than just SEX, then it both complicates and liberates the discussion/analysis.

1) planned or commercial situations where both parties involved, the clothed man (males) and naked ones are participating willingly and in predetermined locations (such as a bar, Pride event, male strip club, male lap-dancing, or private group sex parties. Some examples are nude nights at some gay bars, or stripping contests, or amateur strip nights, or hiring a nude escort or sex 'massage' escort (not to be confused with a real licensed masseur or massage therapist). Some are these 'planned' CMNM events are a part of a larger men's gathering or nude or sexual retreat - CMEN, Burning Man, or Street Festival (Southern Decadance in New Orleans or Dore Alley Fair in San Francisco).

2) pre-meditated, semi-random or semi-accidental, spontaneous or simply one-way CMNM (this is a very gray area - so it's not clearly definable)..

I don' t think that BOTH the nude and clothed male have to both be willing participants for it to count as a CMNM situation. For one of them, it may seem completely 'natural' or accidental. In these types of CMMN situations, only ONE of the two manipulates (or at least it appears that one side is cognizant and the other side is ignorant (or innocent) of 'planning' or 'willingly' participant in sexually stimulating their counterpart.

So the exact environment or conditions are very important but also very unique and specific to the situation (like good timing in while visiting your Uncle's home, etc) so that one male can either be nude or be the clothed one who enjoys seeing the nude male in a place where nudity may or may not be expected. Perhaps 'flashing' (showing your body/gentitals/nudity) to another male (clothed or not) may be a subset of this category ... or not.. I'm not quite sure.

As has been pointed out, one essential factor is whether power/control is involved and whether the sexual arousal is experienced by both (Clothed or Nude) participants. I think that the degree to which the CMNM event or act may or may not be related to whether or not it is a voluntary act or coerced or forced on the other party (by force, persuasion or manipulation that physical or psychological or social pressure or even some combinations of all three. is also important. Another important point is whether the power/submission is part of the social construct (police office / arrestee or suspect, teacher or coach / student or athlete or officer -military 'grunt' (lower rank), priest - altar boy, etc) or simply an interpersonal construct... kind of like role-playing like the father -son (daddy - boy) relationships that some gay men prefer.

3) accidental or unintended CMNM experiences (like when someone opens a toilet stall door and exposes a naked (or masturbating/erect guy), or getting locked out (pushed out) of a hotel room by college buddies, etc... ).

There are all kinds of variables that come into play and the huge extremes in the level of conscious and unconscious sexual turns-on with all of these variations. the subtleties or the directness (blatantness) are different for every purpose and every person.

Certainly, one aspect of CMNM involves flashing. Flashing is a form of exhibitionism - from mild to wild to extreme - exposing one's body, specifically the genitals and/or buttocks (or breasts in women) to another person or group of people (who may or may not be clothed). Mild forms of it are 'accidental exposure' or peekaboo flashing -which are so very common among some social groups and situations -- so much so that it is absolutely NOT even regarded as any form of 'sexual' behavior at all - especially in some circles or subcultures.

Peekaboo flashing often takes the form of nudity at college boy dorm and social events or frat parties, nudity at sporting events, rock concerts and public events where young and often drunk people gather to 'have fun'. But it also exists on a more personalized basis .. such as between college dorm roommates or when regular handymen or deliverymen come to a person's house (sometimes repeatedly) and some accidental exposure to (male) nudity occurs. There are legions of stories -- many probably urban legend -- about the voyeuristic adventures of pizza delivery boys, UPS truck drivers, and newspaper delivery boys - some of which they have documented (in blogs, Youtube,
porno, etc) but more they themselves often are actually the targeted brunt of someone else's desire for getting-naked-for-the-pizza-guy prank. I have a strong feeling that many times such 'jokes' actually have latent homoerotic desires or subcurrents underlying the 'urge' to strip or to have someone stripped. You have alluded to that type in your posts above. Why then would getting the guys naked or panstied or teabagged be the NUMBER ONE hazing or college party pranks for seemingly millions of boyish breeder-types (twinks and young college or NON-college men up to age 30 or so). Spend some time searching YouTube or similar sites (or more blatantly risque or explicit video-sharing sites) to get a better idea of what I am talking about.

So this is an important form of CMNM experience that I don't really address in the above and that's because it's not easily categorized: flashing. Perhaps it's only related or could be considered a fourth sub-category or type of CMNM.

Showing one's naked body and/or genitals (without or without an erect state) seems to transcend almost all the above categories. It may be accidental or at least spontaneous, it is definitely a conscious act (though I guess a nude 'sleepwalker' doesn't plan his actions), and it may or may not occur in socially accepted circumstances... can you call show your cock (semi-erect) to another guy on a nude beach 'flashing'? Maybe it has more to do with the reality of erotic or sensual communication (body language, etc) than mere act of being naked in front of a clothed male.

 [ The author of this article sunning his buns at a public seaside park. ]

Caught Jerking in a Public Park by a Young Japanese Guy

 
An original story first published on my JUB blog

by sunbuns99 / sunbuns  / sunbunz

Some of the photos are of me and a few were even taken on this day by cellphone camera. But the others are just photos found on the Net. I obviously didn't get a photo the stranger who caught me naked and jerking -- although now I wish I had asked him to take a picture.

  I do a lot of traveling to Asia -- recently to Hong Kong and into southern China and have lived in Tokyo for long periods at a time. I want to tell about flashing a clothed Japanese guy in Tokyo a couple of summer .. actually, it was one of the first times to really flash a guy and get more than just a reaction. He seemed to really like seeing me nude and enjoyed watching me jerk off. It happened in a public park on Tokyo Bay and the young man was a complete stranger who was attracted by his noticing I was naked in a public park where other people where around. It caused hime to come closer and catch me masturbating and even to encourage me to ejaculate. It was one of the hottest experiences I've ever had with a stranger.
[ The photo on the left just above is one of the author's of this blog.]

                                         

It was in early June and I had some time off so I went down to Odaiba -- which is a large man-made island in Tokyo Bay just across the Rainbow Bridge (I think that is name). There is a beach (not much good for swimming because the water is so dirty, but there are some windsurfers in the water). Out passed this sandy beach which is about 1000 m/yds longs, there is a walkway out to some old man-made islands (one is exactly square). 

These were built to appear to be fortifications and there were large fake cannons (highly phallic - if you ask me) that were supposed to scare off Admiral Perry and the American Navy way back in the mid 1800s. Anyway, this area is a public park now. So I headed out there one sunny Friday in June to check it out. I found one corner of the 'square' island where there were fewer people. It faced the long suspension bridge that spanned from Odaiba island over to main Tokyo. 

The island has a embankment around the perimeter but the entire center is at a much lower level so you have to climb up stairs to reach the banks -- this means that many people don't actually see over perimeter as they walk around the island. There were some other people (partly clothed) sunning themselves further on down this side of the island so I decided to strip down to undies and catch some rays.

 One guy was wearing only a fundoshi - the wrap around loin cloth that used to be traditional Japanese underwear and now is typically only worn during festivals. Seeing him almost nude inspired me.
It wasn't long before I went further and took off all clothes. It was a grassy slope leading down the bank and I was sitting under a tree so it was not so clearly obvious to pedestrians who went up the stone stairs 30 ft behind me that I was nude. But if someone came off the walkway along the embankment and walked down the grassy slope, they get a good idea. So it was not a blatant act of flashing .. I was sunbathing nude, but that would only be clear to someone who was curious enough to approach me. There were boats that passed in the harbor which might have been able to see more if the driver or passengers were interested -- also pedestrians who walked along the bridge walkway could catch a glimpse of a nude form in the grass but they could not clearly identify me unless that had binoculars (or a zoom lens) since the bridge was far off. I stayed for nearly two hours -- not much happened.

Another foreign guy (not Japanese -- I think he was European) came up and seemed interested. He sat down about 50 ft away and sometimes gave me a look. Later he got up and came over to ask a question about directions, I was pretty sure that he was not going to scream in panic and just wanted to get a closer look so I really didn't cover up. But he was pretty much on the level and didn't comment on my nudity or really show that much interest either. So he moved on after we chatted just a minute.

Well, I found that very stimulating to be sitting there nude in a public park in Tokyo -- admittedly it was rather isolated, but it was one of my first flashing experiences. I never consider being naked on nude beaches as flashing - -although I suppose if you are showing a hard cock in the dunes like you are baiting a cocksucker with a hook, line, and sinker -- that might count. I've done that.. but this was the first time to be completely naked in front of strangers (few and far between ) in a public park where most people would NOT expect nudity.

It was not too long afterward that I noticed a younger Japanese guy (maybe 20) walking along the embankment on my right. There was a concrete gulley (used to drain the central plain of the island) that was too wide to cross between us. He noticed me and then he sat down on a bench about 75 ft away but kept looking over at me, obviously intrigued. I lay back at one point so that he could get a real glimpse of cock and pubic hair so he could confirm I was really nude. That would either get his juices going or he'd just leave if he were not interested in seeing dick. Sure enough, he got up but with an obvious glint of real interest in his eyes. So he made his way back up the ridge, and then proceeded down in the center of the island and disappeared. In a short time, he reappeared at the top again and looked around, seeming to decide if it was all right to approach me. 

After all, I was this naked foreign (white) guy sititing in the grass on a warm summer's day not far from downtown Tokyo. I don't think it was something he had ever seen -- neither was it something I had ever done -- so blatantly. He kept his eyes on me -- wanting to get a look at my cock which had now stood up hard and erect - since his interest was so obvious. I was starting to drip pre-cum as he made his way down the slope and around the tree and then stopped in front of me - standing between me and the bridge in the distance.

He sat down on one of the poles that supported the single length of chain that roped off the edge of the bank, staring at my erection. He was definitely cute and I could see the lust in his eyes -- I was really excited and as he sat there I could not help but reach for my hard cock and stroke it. He moved up closer and stood over me as I stroked more. He braced my legs with his and pushed them wider so that he could get a better look at my ass crack too. He urged to me on -- asking in Japanese, ' Ii kimochi?' (Does that feel good?) I grunted in response and he asked me to go on beating, 'motto yatte'. (Do it more). I wanted him to reach down and touch me but he kept glancing to his left and right down either side of the embankment. Still he was encouraging me to keep stroking, 'ii nah".. "kimochi?". "Yatte." I could not keep quiet because it was SO hot to be watched by a complete stranger in a public park who was clearly enjoying the show. I was moaning too and responding to his taunts I pushed against his legs and raised up to reach for his cock through his loose athletic pants, but he pulled upright. Maybe he was straight or maybe he was too cautious to do anything himself, but he was certainly very interested in watching me jerk my cock which was copiously leaking clear pre-cum across my belly. It didn't take long at this point before I was ready to let my cum fly.

The guy watched more intently and bent over to get a closer look when my spunk started to splatter my stomach and chest. When I was done, he gave me a smile, checked around to see if we had been observed by anybody else. He adjusted his own erection in his pants to make it less obvious and then walked away. It took me a few minutes to get cleaned up but I decided not to press my luck so I got dressed and left shortly after that. It was my first public masturbation for a stranger -- it started me on my 'career' as a cock flasher, I guess. But so far, I've not had quite a similar experience. I have only one regret -- not asking him to take a picture of me jacking in front of him with my cell phone. I have some cell phone cam photos taken then but they don't show him.